Call Me YOUR HIGHNESS!

Finished this book on the New Year day. A really humorous book to read. It is categorized under travel literature. If you can appreciate the difference in cultures, you find more joy when reading it. I was sharing with my friends about the Brit trying to teach Parisien how to speak English in France.

"What did you have for dinner last night?"
"I made some crap."
"You mean crepes? Pancakes."
"Yes, pan-cack."
...

"What would you say to the waiter if you had no cutlery?"
"Er, excuse me, I want a knife and a fuck."

Highly recommended.

Went Bangkok the Nth time.
It's a birthday trip for R. So I kept the shopaholic Highness in Singapore, not much shopping was done this time round. We only indulge ourself with the wide but cheap selection of food.

Many times we identify one's nationality when he/she speaks. While we Singaporean have Singlish, Thai have their own style too. Other than their accent, making them sounds like they're singing when speaking, they have unique ways of structuring their sentences too.

Customer Service @ Posh Shopping Mall
Your Highness: Is there a link to X shopping mall?
Receptionist: Yes, Mdm. You go up 1 time then turn right.

R was giggling and mimicking the way she says "1 time up". Can u imagine when we heard it the 2nd time from a security guard, telling us it's "2 times up" this time? R bursted and lose control totally.

I dunno wat's the occasion, but we were drinking bird nest...

妹妹：为什么 New Moon 叫人月牌？Then 新月牌 leh？
我：没有新月牌啦。People Moon 不好听 mah。
爸爸：他写错啦，应该叫 Man Moon。
(...)

昨晚在看《老鼠爱上猫》，里头蛮多欠扁问答题。印象比较深的是：

锦毛鼠：你起床第一件事是做什么？

包拯：吾日三省吾身。
（自《论语》，大致的意思是我每天会自我反省3件事）

锦毛鼠：错。答案是开眼睛！

From "Under the Tuscan Sun", the romantic Italian, Marcello, commented on the traffic lights:
"Green means GO"
"Yellow - it's for decorations"
"Red - it's just a suggestion"
_________________________________________________

《省钱王》里，权怡凤问 Ah-Ben 的欠扁问答题：
权：Spiderman 是什么颜色的？
Ben: 红色跟黑色
权：错。答案是白色
Ben: 为什么？
权：“是-白-的 man！”
[...]
_________________________________________________

今早在车上听933时，电台因为刚过的 Oscar Award 而聊起了 Hollywood 和 Bollywood, Royston 来了个 Funny 的想法：
“India 的叫 Bollywood”
“Singapore 的可以叫 Sollywood?” “梁智强的电影全部都是 Sollywood.”
...
“Malaysia 也可以叫 Mollywood...”
(faint)

Mich： 老板，我2月要请假。
老板：不行，给我一个好理由。
Mich：我要结婚了。
老板：你 sure 吗？要为了一颗树放弃一森林……

（如果是我，大概会说 MYOB 之类的话）

Mich：因为其他的都是 cactus?!?

Scenario: It's raining heavily outside. Staff crowding in the pantry, waiting for meeting to start... Boss walked in and announced that meeting is postphoned to the next day.

KC: Hey, it's no longer raining.
Tracy: Oh, so no more dogs & cats? only rats?

[...]

I know u're freezing too.

Sometimes when our job gets too monotonous, it's always good to have colleagues like Ms Pang. She's practically the walking joker, bringing happiness to us.

Scenario: Customer came to branch to ask her son's name as mandate for her safe deposit box. Not too sure of the procedures...

Son: What if I lose my safe box's keys?
Ms Pang: I would strongly advise you NOT to lose your keys.

Ms Pang, you sure you call this an advise? [...]