Call Me YOUR HIGHNESS!

钱花得最多的一年。又装修，又搬家，还摆了婚宴，但这些是其次。重点是我终于搬进自己的“窝”，officially成为了Mrs. Wong。贯上Mrs的title，我知道我必须修人生中的另一个学分：“如何做个称职的人妻”。对于“如何做个称职的子女”一科，我至今仍在摸索，现在我却需要两者同修，真是不简单。难怪别人说，人结婚了就会变，也许是对的，因为现在你所作的任何决定，都会影响３个家庭（除了夫妻俩外，还有夫家和娘家），不得不让你慎重考虑，步步为营。有些人说：“不用那么复杂，你是嫁给你老公，不是嫁给他全家。”真的有说的那么简单，那还不如不嫁，谈谈恋爱过日子便可，离婚率也就不会年年攀高了。如果你真爱他，他也真在乎你，你们怎么忍心让彼此难过？不敢大言不惭地说自己做的有多好，起码我有想过，也尝试过要修好这个新学科。我希望我真的找到我的归属。



我在今年的最后一季，决定离开DXX 到CXXX。没想到我会这么快离开DXX。从前的人都是一份工作从年轻做到退休，甚至做到死，如今为什么我们却不能效仿前辈？不知别的行业如何，不过银行业虽然裁员危机不断，似乎对于如何挽留员工仍有困难，难以理解。我的薪金不差，不过在DXX 却不开心，去工作好像去打战。办公室政治到处都有，只是严重程度不一。如果我在权势那方，或许日子就不会那么难过，可惜我不是，也不想选择是（我不是妒嫉还是马后炮）。有个人告诉我，同事是没得选的，可是朋友是可以选的。以前我们不是常在同学的毕业纪念册上留言，“劝你交友要小心”吗？他的话让我豁然开朗，不必为了不重要的人而坏了心情。那些不管在什么时候都想把你踩在脚下的人，我告诉我自己，那人只是那妒嫉我，因为不如我，所以有意识的要把我踩在脚下，换言之我应该感到高兴，因为我比他优越。哈哈！来到新的公司，日子尚浅，不过这里给了我像以前在OXXX 的感觉，我希望这次我没选错。换了几家公司后，真的觉得很累，如果这真是个好地方，我也希望我能在这里退休。

人随着年级的增长，开始对庆祝生日这回事不再很执著。
大学时代的生活很精彩，通常庆生活动会密密麻麻的安排一整个星期。

今年是在成家的后过的第一个生日。回想，两年没有和 R 一起庆祝生日。

因为在正日，我们会一家人到 Pan Pac Hotel 去试菜，R 提议在前一晚庆生。
没有当年的 $400 Morton's 晚餐。相对的是昔日海边浪漫的烛光晚餐。
刚好碰到十四的月亮，和十五的月亮一样亮和圆。两人在那轮明月下骑脚踏车，分外写意。

R 偷偷买了蛋糕到 Pan Pac，母亲大人恍然是我的生日。通常都是我自己安排与家人共度生日晚餐，今年也不例外，选在我生日时试菜，也是不错的选择。菜式相当丰富：有鱼有肉有虾，有鱼翅有鲍鱼，还有我最爱的甜品--杨枝甘露！

就这样，过了我最后一个 twenties 的生日。

I was early for a training session. I was searching the directories in my brain: who I can find in the area for a coffee break. As I walked, I realized I am walking towards fin-exis building. I gave a ring, and the lot came down merrily in matter of minutes. I can't help but ask, "did you miss me?" But I guess I miss them more. I could feel them welcoming me instead of patronizing me. The time we shared were short but merry. Their laughters and joy seems to have strong influential powers. I realized that I am so hungry for that sense of belonging! And of course, it triggers me if I am at the right place.

又是一个月一次的 Saturday Duty。今天，一个新来的同事 W 告诉我：“我觉得你和这里的 RM 不一样"。我不知这是否是赞美。

难道她也看出我和同事有隔膜？在这里已有约10个月，总觉得自己不属于这里，归属感是零，和同事也没什么话题可聊。打从我念书的时候开始，就爱打工，做过那么多工作，这里最让我觉得，“我只是打一份工罢了”。我问 W ，有什么不一样？或许一时间她也答不出来，只是觉得我和这里格格不入。

她说她觉得我很用功。我松了一口气。因为我并不讨厌我的工作，反而还蛮喜欢我的工作的 。而且大家都是领公司薪水的人，只要是我能力范围能做的事，我都不好意思麻烦他人。不过跑业务的人，用不用功通常只用业绩来衡量。而我在这里的业绩并不特别优秀，有人用“用功”二字在我身上，让我觉得很欣慰，我的努力真的有人看见，有人体会。星期六虽然要工作，但有意外的收获。

老公去 ICT-Outfield 3天2夜。全身的 jungle 味，连用 pungent 来形容都不够贴切。回到家时巳过午夜，我坚持老公要在吃晚餐前洗澡。不过，冲了凉后还是有森林的味道......第二天早上，大概是老公自己受不了那股味儿，自动自觉又去洗澡。

（冲凉后）
老公：我还有没有那个味道？
我： 哦，所以老公，我是不是很爱你？昨晚你那么臭我还让你跟我睡。
老公：老婆，我才真的很爱你。我这么累，平时应该连凉都不冲，我就睡了。
[...]

这个 quarter 真的过得有点儿快。

Your Highness 一月忙着搬家，二月忙过年和拍婚纱照，三月以为能喘气，以为和现实当然有差。三月忙着工作，并不是说一、二月都没在努力，不过老板下最后通牒，让我被感压力。

不过，起码在前两个月有一点 accomplishments。对于搬进我们的爱巢和拍婚纱照，我都感到兴奋无比。新家还需要一点 touch-up, 不过基本上已经成型。希望在四月能 housewarming，分享我们的喜悦。那些没来过就 super 不 sensitive 的说不喜欢这个，不喜欢那个的人，自然不会在 invite list 上。我无需向这些人证明什么，ultimately, 我才是住在这里的人，你喜不喜欢，不关我的事。

二月拍的婚纱照，过瘾的在于过程。我不是一个爱拍照的人，还能享受其中，真不容易。效果也不错，不过现在还不能 share，因为 file 太大。亲爱的朋友们，请再等一下。

没有再到拥挤的 Vivo City 还是 Marina Bay 过年，而是应邀到 Alicia 家过年。上了年纪，不想再人挤人，希望过的比较 family style 一点。不过这几年，我们一直三缺一，这次少了凤娴。

我恨不得把整个凤山 85 巴刹搬到 Alicia 家去。一桌子的地道菜，希望能解 Alicia 的乡愁。尤其是那德国猪脚，真是 ichiban ne。


没有什么特别节目，原本担心会闷死老公。不过，偶尔有 KX entertain 我们，还蛮好笑的。小小年纪，因为看了 Thomas & Friends 而讲话时有 accent，而且他会的英文词汇还真不少。我们以前小学才学的介词，如今他已驾轻就熟，如：the train crashed into the remote.

这两天当我在架车时，总有错觉车轮爆胎了。下车看了看，却看不出有什么问题。想起朋友说过，要常常检查轮胎的气压，车子不但会比较好开，还会省油。不过对着打气机，我和 R 都束手无策。打气机有显示 PSI，可是我们都不知道要 set 多高的 PSI。担心打错，会弄巧反拙。

还好打给 ZQ

Your Highness: eh... how do I know my car's tires must set wat PSI ha?
ZQ: (giggle) It's on your car
Your Highness: Where? where? (looking frantically around)
ZQ: Your car door
Your Highness: Which door?
ZQ: Driver's door
Your Highness: Dun have leh... where?
ZQ: At your door seal there... (giggle)
Your Highness: Oh... found it!

有时候觉得自己很没常识。不过，不耻下问是我向来的优点。虽然被笑，不过学到新的东西，让我觉得很有成就感。

Through a friend, I bought a manicure + pedicure voucher at Bliss @ Ion, from Beeconomic.com. The voucher is valid till 30 Nov 2010. I tried calling them on the 1st week of Nov, and the slots are booked till the last week of Nov. I tried calling them to reschedule after that, trying to push it forward because my nails chipped and I am desperate to get it done, but no slots! Imagine I actually waited so many days just wanna to get my nails done, and I am so looking forward to my appt. Unfortunately, after all the events, guess i mixed up the dates and thought my appt is on Sunday.

Until Bliss called me on Saturday did I realized my appt is on Saturday. No calls were made to remind me of my appt a day prior to the appt. The manager claimed that they had called me. But when I told her I did not receive their call, she said "yah, you didn't answer the call, maybe you didn't hear your phone" What kind of answer is that? It really pissed me off.

First, I didn't receive their call, and I think they didn't make enough efforts to call me. They could have called me again to confirm our appt, isn't this the proper procedure? Secondly, the so-called MANAGER just make the matter worse. Her tone was harsh and stern. I am not your daughter or student. I am your CUSTOMER! I paid for a service. Instead of giving me a solution, she just keep pushing the responsibilities to me, making it very clear that it is MY fault, and none of THEIR business. Telling me that their company have logged the timing they call me blah blah..... I am not interested in how you run your business. I would like to say that it's none of my business too.When you are in a retail line, your company gave you a MANAGER role, even if it's not within your empowerment to help me, the least you could do was to sympathize with my situation. Don't forget that I am a customer that have paid for a service that now that I can't use. With so many competitors now, this kind of attitude will bring you no where, moreover it's at ION, a high end shopping mall.

To sum up my experience with them, I did not enjoy that BLISS, very very disappointing. If I know things are going to turn up this way, I should have just patron my usual spot to get my nails done instead of waiting so many days. No way am I going there for my nails.

Went for Mac breakfast with R at parkway parade.
A common ritual would be to visit the loo after the meal.

I was shocked to see this mum, letting her son to stand on the side of the basin, and was asking her son to pee into the basin! I couldn't even bring myself to wash my hands after my visit to the toilet.

What's your take?

被很多朋友埋怨，太久没有update。不过，your highness 最近真是有一点儿忙。忙什么？

做sales的人，注定是没日没夜？老板不顾你有多努力，只管你有没有成绩。除了有实力，有时还要靠一点儿运气。碰到老板像老师管学生般分秒都在“看管”你，让我快要窒息。除了要应付工作，还要应付老板。头痛！

当烦恼越来越多，玻璃弹珠越来越少，我知道我已慢慢的长大了…… 《红蜻蜓》也是如此说的。人长大了，烦恼真是多到小脑袋有点儿装不下。问题总是接踵而来。工作已够忙了，家里的事情却时时困扰着我。家家有本难念的经，大家应该都有难处，只是大小不一。这应该是每个人必修的学分。在这方面，一直对于自己的要求甚高，希望自己能修得A，所以不得不把时间投资下去。

星期一到星期五已把自己卖给公司，周末必须过自己想要的生活。如今，我正在适应“已婚”的生活。老公说，每个周末我们就安排一个节目。不用多。一个就好。上个周末，我们约了contractor谈装修的事。这个周末，我们看了场电影。下个周末，该做什么呢？

It says 2.23AM as I started this post.

Never was I this lost. Even lying on the bed couldn't get me any sleep. When was the last time I had insomnia? I was pacing up and down the hallway, thinking through the ups and downs these 2 weeks. Many questions flash across my mind. How could this be happening to me? The more I think abt it, tears started to well up in my eyes.

I was staggering down the stairs and onto a cab to nowhere. Uncle, just go, please. I dunno where to go, or where was I. I can't even be bothered with the stares I am getting from the public. I can't believe I was defeated this way. I was deciding to come home or to have a night's out at my friend's place. After serious thoughts, I knew no where is better than home. Besides to trouble a friend at night isn't the best option

As I feel the sharp pain from the bump on my forehead that I'd gotten on my ROM day, I was thinking: it's funny how the pain didn't go away after so many days. And suddenly I made a decision. A decision that hopefully I could live with.

连续两晚的 Training 和 Event，还碰到星期六要值班，我只能自叹倒霉。

有人换班。
又有人忘了值班。
有可能是人缘不好，竟沦落到省我一人值班。
雪上加霜。

不过自己值班也有好处：
自己做自己的事, 不必理会他人。
原来自己还有很多事情是不会和不清楚的。
平时，大家都很忙碌，真的不想成为大家眼中的“问题儿童”。
星期六能静静一人，慢慢找寻答案，似乎也不错。

过了这个星期六，应该要 6 星期后才会再次轮到我。（自己安慰自己）

1300
Suppose to meet at Orchard...
母亲大人忘了我的生日，“意外”发现后 insist 要我在出门前吃面线。
By the time 我到 ION, 已经是1320。
幸亏我是主角，才不至于受到 L 的黑脸！
午餐到 NYDC 解决。吃了想念已久的 Mushroom Madness Pizza 和 Mudpie。

1500
DFS Shopping 乐: 有了 L ，就有了 discount。好开心哦！
然后，从 DFS , 到 Far East 、Tangs 和 Wisma。现在，我通常都到 ION, Paragon, 313 逛街，不知道原来 Far East 也有裙子是叫价 $80 以上的。我们走啊走，走到 L's "battery flat"。

1725
Tea Time!
其实不怎么饿。不过真的有点儿 battery flat。要喝喝饮料，recharge 一下。
不过时间好像过的很快。

1845
让人期待的按摩。
足足一个小时。不过，我要 confess。有一半的时间，我是处于“半昏迷”状况，十分享受。
隐隐约约只记得她问我："like that ok, mdm?"  还有 "mdm, mdm... i need you to turn over/sit up."

2000
S 在等我们吃晚餐，选了在 Plaza Singapura 的老北京。好像一天下来，美做什么，一直在吃。所以，真的是应酬大伙儿而已。S 真是有先见之明，说我们坐的是好位子。我和 X 都一脸的 lost。我们吃到一半，在我眼前突然有烟火！真是好位子啊！原来是 YOG 的开幕典礼。生日时有烟火助兴，也算幸运了。

2215
我突发奇想，提议看午夜场。这３个人看了很多戏了，要一起看个戏还真不容易。讨论后投票一致通过：SALT。

0130 (15 Aug)
我和 X 在 Taxi 上，准备回家。X 才指出我们已经出来 12 个钟了。哇！


p/s: 亲爱的，我真的很爱你们！谢谢你们陪我过生日。

It's the first appt I went to since I'd joined, and it's at Orchard.
First, it was Sophia... but I was talking to my customer, so I din manage to talk to her.
When sending my customer off, I bum into Tongli at the escalator. While chatting with Tongli, I saw Simon from the corner of my eyes.

After that, I proceed to MRT station, and saw Mei Ling. While talking to her, I saw Charissa!

In less than 1 hr, I met 5 OC (and ex-OC staff). Unbelieveable!

小学时代的作文题目。已经没有印象当时的内容。也许真的是像人们说的，女儿都是 Daddy's Girl，所以自小对于爸爸的回忆都是好的。爸爸是个典型的 Yes Man，对人可是有求必应，对我的要求当然也是如此。

我和姐姐、妹妹共睡一间房，我睡在 double-decker bed 的上层。记得上个月，因为天气太热，hot air rises, cool air sinks, 风扇的风吹不到我的床位，害的我难以入睡。爸爸出尽法宝，竟然牵了一盏小风扇到我床上去。爸爸的爱就在那小小的风扇上！

整个星期都有“小”测试，搞得大家神经紧张。终于等到了 Friday，早已准备去狂欢。人在上课，心却在 kbox 了。K 大发慈悲，提早下课，我们兴奋的往 Downtown East 杀去。

15 个人，一个大房间，唱 K、打 Wii 、上网、打桌球又喝酒。原来我们之中真是卧虎藏龙，个个能唱、能喝。玩得不亦乐乎！

Just started out a new job...
When you meet new friends, normally we try to be "friendly" and create small talks. I realised, that also formed the first impression of me to them. Some very common questions:

You very tall leh... How tall are you?
I'm 1.7m. Funny thing is during CNY, some relatives say I'd become taller!? FYI, I'm out of puberty. They must have run out of things to say to me.

Were you an Air Stewardess?
Nope. Being tall doesn't mean I was an air stewardess. Though I did think of being one when I was much younger. S, our trainer, make a joke at me when I speak singlish, asking me if I AM that air stewardess.

Are you Singaporean?
Oh... so I heard that I look Chinese. Haha...
XT quickly add-on that I look mixed Japanese or Korean. Nice try!

Are you wearing colour contact lens?
No. It's naturally hazel-coloured. My grandma, my mum all have brown eyes.

我觉得我的一些坏习惯已慢慢变成一种病……

  1.  剩饭

妹妹常常对我这个陋习施与严厉的眼神。我常会吃到最后一口，就饱了，真神奇！有尝试拿少一点，还是会剩下一口就饱了。应该不是量的问题，而是心理的问题。不过我就是吃不下，逼也没用。不是说，有什么籍贯的人吃饭都要留一口吗？为了是“有余”，好兆头啊。（我知道那是歪理，哈哈！）


  2.  迟到

就算早起，就算早准备好，还是会迟到。我不是那种会迟个半点钟的人，而是惯性的 5-10 分钟。试过许多方法，至今还未能“对症下药”。有人说迟到好过不到，我是因为留恋家庭的温暖才出不了门的。（又在自圆其说？！）


  3.  FB-ing

很难想象，自己曾经很排斥 FB。结果有了account 后，现在只要眼前有电脑，就不能不 sign-in。没几分钟就 refresh 一次，看有什么最新 update 。所以告诉自己千万不要 start 一个 twitter account，不然电脑中毒会越来越深，没完没了。（别再怂恿我了！）

生病真是件恐怖的事情。
L的母亲原本是个很有福相的长辈。去探病之前，L说：

你要有心理准备

看到L母才知道她是什么意思——L母小了两号！才两天工夫，她的腿就瘦得和我差不多一样大，看了实在让人心疼。身体持续与病魔交战，让她疲惫的睁不开眼。母亲熟睡的样子和轻轻的打鼾声，竟成了L两姐妹最大的安慰。


To L: 就你说的，这是个持久战，身心和身体要有所调整，才能够帮助母亲打败病魔。如今医学发达，不用担心。